Supernova

They're a little cagey about exactly where the crossover point lies relative to the likelihood of devastating effects on the planet.

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Fever

Hypothermia of below 98.6 K should be treated by leaving the giant molecular cloud and moving to the vicinity of a star.

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Range Safety

The Range Mischief Officer has modified the trajectory to add a single random spin somewhere in the flight, but won't tell us where.

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2024

It wasn't originally constitutionally required, but presidents who served two terms have traditionally followed George Washington's example and gotten false teeth.

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Iceland

The HVAC bill for installing the Gulf Stream was enormous.

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Supersymmetry

High-speed collisions at the Baby Park track may support the hypothesis that Daisy is her own evil twin, a theory first suggested by Nintendo in the game Majorana's Mask.

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Hydrothermal Vents

Benthic Santas weren't even discovered until the 1970s, but many scientists now believe Christmas may have originally developed around hydrothermal vents and only later migrated to the surface.

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Definitely

A really mean prank you can play on someone who's picky about words is to add a 'definitely->definitively' autocorrect rule to their keyboard.

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Love Songs

The Piña Colada song carves a trajectory across the chart over the course of the song.

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Puzzles

Why couldn't the amulet have been hidden by Aunt Alice, who understands modern key exchange algorithms?

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Label the States

Even with a blank map, a lot of people can only name 45-50 of the 64 states.

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DateTime

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Snow

For someone who has ostensibly outgrown staying up late waiting for Santa, I do spend an awful lot of time refreshing websites to see if packages are here yet.

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the Wrong Stuff

The phantom found Edward Everett Hale a century too early; by the time we invented satellites, the specifics of his 'brick moon' proposal were dismissed as science fiction.

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Compact Graphs

People may complain about readability, but even with jpeg compression, extracting the data points is usually computationally feasible if there aren't too many of them.

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Space Typography

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Typical Seating Chart

Now that airlines have started adding wheel locks to their drink carts, less than half of flights have one accidentally fall out through the hole.

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X Value

The value of n is still unknown, but new results constrain it to fall between 8 and 10^500, ruling out popular 'n=1' and 'n=2' theories.

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Decay Modes

Unlike an Iron Age collapse, a Bronze Age collapse releases energy, since copper and tin are past the iron peak on the curve of binding energy.

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Oceanography Gift

Shipping times vary. Same-ocean delivery may only take a few years, but delivery from the Weddell Sea in Antarctica may take multiple decades, and molecules meant for inland seas like the Mediterranean may be returned as undeliverable by surface currents.

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Thanksgiving Arguments

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Rebuttals

The mainstream dogma sparked a wave of dogmatic revisionism, and this revisionist mainstream dogmatism has now given way to a more rematic mainvisionist dogstream.

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Materials Scientists

If a materials scientist gives you a present, always ask whether regifting will incur any requirements for Federal paperwork.

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Empiricism

The problems started with my resolution next year to reject temporal causality.

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Date Line

They estimate the rocket should be free by approximately ... uh ... well, in about two hours.

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Redshift

So do you have any plans for z=-0.000000000000045?

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Parameterball

The ball's density also varies, but players don't learn the value until after choosing their raquets. The infamous 'bowling ball table tennis' region of the parameter space often leads to equipment damage.

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Messier Objects

The debate over the correct Messier number for the Ship of Theseus is ongoing.

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Doctor’s Office

\"The police told me I can't be a doctor, but whenever they show up I just go into the Google Maps settings page I found and change the house to 'Police Headquarters' and then they have to do what I say.\"

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Under the Stars

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Breaker Box

Any electrician will warn you to first locate and flip the house's CAUSALITY circuit breaker before touching the CIRCUIT BREAKERS one.

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Dendrochronology

These anomalies are known as Miyake events, named for the pioneering scientist who discovered them and was tragically devoured by a carnivorous tree.

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Daylight Saving Choice

I average out the spring and fall changes and just set my clocks 39 minutes ahead year-round.

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Extinction Mechanisms

The Late Heavy Bombardment was followed a few billion years later by the Comparatively Light but Oddly Specific Bombardment.

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Black Holes vs Regular Holes

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Professional Oaths

Interpretations of the Hermeneutic Oath differ.

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Inspiraling Roundabout

Look, I just think we need to stop coddling those hedonistic roundabout hogs who get into the inner lane and circle for hours, wasting valuable capacity.

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Sign Combo

Speed Limit: 45 MPH / Minimum: 65 MPH

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Earth Layers

The Earth's magnetic field is primarily generated by currents in the liquid outer core, though some geophysicists argue that an unexplained mismatch with models suggests that the Kinder toy contains a magnet.

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Language Acquisition

My first words were 'These were my first words; what were yours?'

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Dubious Islands

Running for office in Minnesota on the single-issue platform 'dig a permanent channel through the Traverse Gap because it will make this map more satisfying.'

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Odyssey

Ugh, it says they attempted delivery but \"Nobody was home.\"

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A Halloween Carol

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Factorial Numbers

So what do we do when we get to base 10? Do we use A, B, C, etc? No: Numbers larger than about 3.6 million are simply illegal.

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Book Podcasts

I've been working my way through this 1950s podcast by someone named John Tolkien called 'Lord of the Rings'--it's a deep dive into this fictional world he created. Good stuff, really bingeable!

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Lying

I was, at least at the start of this disastrous game night, your friend.

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Urban Planning Opinion Progression

If they're going to make people ride bikes and scooters in traffic, then it should at LEAST be legal to do the Snow Crash thing where you use a hook-shot-style harpoon to catch free rides from cars.

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xkcd Phone Flip

Theranos partnership: Sorry, we know, but we signed the contract back before all the stuff and the lawyers say we can't back out, so just try to keep your finger away from the bottom of the phone.

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Haunted House

You can leave at any time through the door over there. It's a Louisville door, so you'll need to find a compatible knob. No, don't be silly, that one is a Lexington knob! Of course it won't fit.

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Iceberg Efficiency

Our experimental aerogel iceberg with helium pockets manages true 100% efficiency, barely touching the water, and it can even lift off of the surface and fly to more efficiently pursue fleeing hubristic liners.

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