Bloom Filter

Sometimes, you can tell Bloom filters are the wrong tool for the job, but when they're the right one you can never be sure.

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Elementary Physics Paths

==COSMOLOGY==> 'Uhhh ... how sure are we that everything is made of these?'

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Driving PSA

This PSA brought to you by several would-be assassins who tried to wave me in front of speeding cars in the last month and who will have to try harder next time.

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Chasing

Certain hybrid events can only happen in certain locations where all the conditions are present; chasers flock to the area in and around Kansas known as tumbleweed-colliding-with-possum alley.

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Google Solar Cycle

From Google Trends, it looks like the lag between people Googling cocktail recipes and 'hangover cure' is 14 hours.

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Good and Bad Ideas

While it seemed like a fun prank at the time, I realize my prank fire extinguishers full of leaded gasoline were a mistake.

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Software Testing Day

The company tried to document how often employees were celebrating Software Testing Day, but their recordkeeping system kept mysteriously crashing.

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Alphabetical Cartogram

Poor Weeoming.

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Doppler Effect

The Doppler effect is a mysterious wavelength-shifting phenomenon which seems to primarily affect sirens, which is why the 🚨 emoji is red.

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Earth Formation Site

It's not far from the sign marking the exact latitude and longitude of the Earth's core.

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Pendulum Types

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Scary Triangles

Concealed mostly beneath the surface, sharks are the icebergs of the sea.

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Pub Trivia

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Eclipse Path Maps

Okay, this eclipse will only be visible from the Arctic in February 2063, when the sun is below the horizon, BUT if we get lucky and a gigantic chasm opens in the Earth in just the right spot...

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Survey Marker

Fun fact: The standard North American NAD83 coordinate system is misaligned from the actual Earth, off-center by about 7 feet. Someone knows where I am, and I'm in the wrong place.

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Sitting in a Tree

First comes blood / Then we perish / Then comes Death in his Eternity Carriage.

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Tick Marks

If you're really savvy, you can hide an entire set of illicit transactions by timing them to draw what looks like a graph inset.

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Types of Eclipse Photo

The most rare, top-tier eclipse photo would be the Solar Earth Eclipse, but the Apollo 12 crew's attempt to capture it was marred by camera shake. They said it looked spectacular, though.

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Machine

The Credible Machine

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Eclipse Clouds

The rare compound solar-lunar-nephelogical eclipse

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Eclipse Coolness

A partial eclipse is like a cool sunset. A total eclipse is like someone broke the sky.

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Periodic Table Regions

Cesium-133, let it be. Cesium-134, let it be even more.

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Cursive Letters

𝓘 𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓷𝓴 𝓬𝓪𝓹𝓲𝓽𝓪𝓵 𝓛 𝓲𝓼 𝓹𝓻𝓸𝓫𝓪𝓫𝓵𝔂 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓶𝓸𝓼𝓽 𝓯𝓾𝓷 𝓽𝓸 𝔀𝓻𝓲𝓽𝓮, 𝓽𝓱𝓸𝓾𝓰𝓱 𝓵𝓸𝔀𝓮𝓻𝓬𝓪𝓼𝓮 𝓺 𝓲𝓼 𝓪𝓵𝓼𝓸 𝓪 𝓼𝓽𝓻𝓸𝓷𝓰 𝓬𝓸𝓷𝓽𝓮𝓷𝓭𝓮𝓻.

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Greenland Size

The Mercator projection drastically distorts the size of almost every area of land except a small ring around the North and South Poles.

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The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald

You know that asteroid that almost destroyed Earth in the 90s? Turns out the whole thing was secretly created by Michael Bay, who then PAID Bruce Willis and Ben Affleck to look heroic while blowing it up!

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Moon Landing Mission Profiles

If you pick a low enough orbit, it gives you a lot of freedom to use a lightweight launch vehicle such as a stepladder.

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Moon Armor Index

Astronomers are a little unsure of the applicability of this index, but NASA's Planetary Protection Officer is all in favor.

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Schwa

Doug's cousin, the one from London, runs a Bumble love cult.

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Earth

Just think of all the countless petty squabbles and misunderstandings, of all the fervent hatreds, over so insignificant a thing as the direction and duration of a rocket engine firing.

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Supergroup

I love their cover of 1,200 Balloons, Dalmatians, and Miles.

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Physics vs. Magic

'At the stroke of midnight, your brother will be hurtling sideways at an altitude of 150 meters' is a regular physics prediction about your nonmagical trebuchet, whereas 'you are cursed to build a brother-launching trebuchet' falls out of the Lagrangian.

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Earth/Venus Venn Diagram

Actually, the fact that Mars is still orbiting safely over here means that it was technically an *Euler* apocalypse, not a Venn one.

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Ice Core

If you find an ash deposition layer from a year in which an eruption destroyed an island that had Camellia sinensis growing on it, you can make a Gone Island Ice_τ.

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Geographic Qualifiers

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Call My Cell

'Hey, can you call my cell?' '...I'm trying, but it says this number is blocked?' 'Ok, thanks, just checking.'

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Goodhart’s Law

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Orbital Argument

\"Some people say light is waves, and some say it's particles, so I bet light is some in-between thing that's both wave and particle depending on how you look at it. Am I right?\" \"YES, BUT YOU SHOULDN'T BE!\"

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Light Leap Years

When Pope Gregory XIII briefly shortened the light-year in 1582, it led to navigational chaos and the loss of several Papal starships.

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Crossword Constructors

Also, we would really appreciate it if you could prominently refer to it as an 'eHit'.

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Treasure Chests

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Research Account

Focus of your research: EXTREME PETTINESS AND UNWILLINGNESS TO LET ANYTHING GO

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Sphere Tastiness

Baseballs do present a challenge to this theory, but I'm convinced we just haven't found the right seasoning.

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Banana Prices

It's a linear extrapolation, Michael. How big could the error be? 10%?

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Log Cabin

I'm sure the building inspectors will approve my design once they finally manage to escape.

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Relationship Advice

Good to be a little wary of advice that sounds too much like a self pep talk.

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Greenhouse Effect

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US Survey Foot

Subway refuses to answer my questions about whether it's an International Footlong or a US Survey Footlong. A milligram of sandwich is at stake!

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Minnesota

In addition to 'squishy', after reviewing my submitted intraplate ground motion data, the National Geodetic Survey has politely asked me to stop using the word 'supple' so often when describing Midwestern states.

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Fast Radio Bursts

Dr. Petroff has also shown that the Higgs boson signal was actually sparks from someone microwaving grapes, the EHT black hole photo was a frozen bagel someone left in too long, and the LIGO detection was just someone slamming the microwave door too hard.

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Spelling

Any time I misspell a word it's just because I have too much integrity to copy answers from the dictionary.

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