Cuisine

My connection to it goes way back, to my early days, when I was just a cloud of primordial hydrogen collapsing in the darkness of space.

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Noise Filter

Party Mode also enables the feature, but reverses the slider.

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Crystal Ball

They often use ball lenses to collect light at the ends of optical fibers, so when you look stuff up on the internet you're actually scrying through a crystal ball.

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Siphon

ADDITIONAL NOTES: Fixed a bug that caused some rocks to generate virtually infinite heat while just sitting there.

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Taxiing

I don't understand why anyone would pay full price for a flatbed truck rental when you can buy 'DETOUR' signs online for like $10.

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Planetary Scientist

This rumpled fabric at the corner looks like evidence of ongoing tectonic activity.

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Commemorative Plaque

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College Knowledge

'Your chitin armor is no match for our iron-tipped stingers! Better go hide in your jars!' --common playground taunt

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Tapetum Lucidum

Using a reflective wall in a game to give one shot two chances to hit is called a double-tapetum lucidum.

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Overlapping Circles

\"The Venn diagram of the sun and the moon is a circle.\" --someone being snarky at totality

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Definition of e

Yeah, my math teacher back in high school set up the system to try to teach us something or other, but the 100% rate was unbelievably good, so I engineered a hostile takeover of his bank and now use it to make extra cash on the side.

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Recipe Relativity

It says to cut the onions into 1/4\" slices, but I'd better correct for length contraction.

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Helium Reserve

The government has been trying to sell off the Federal Helium Reserve for a few years now, but the sale has been on hold while they try to figure out how to explain this situation to buyers.

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Escape Speed

Gotta go fastescape_speed.png

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Cosmological Nostalgia Content

Later renouncing clickbait, Einstein called his inclusion of cosmological content in general relativity the biggest blunder of his career.

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Linguistics Gossip

The E's wedding invitation definitely used the word LOVE more times than was strictly necessary.

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Diffraction Spikes

Even if a planet is lucky enough to have a stable orbit that weaves between the spikes, the seasons get weird whenever it passes close to them.

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1-to-1 Scale

There's a version that shows the planets with no cropping, but it's hard to find a display that supports it.

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Paleontology Museum

Nowadays the only ones left that do anything are turtles.

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Easily Confused Acronyms

'Lever' was originally an acronym for Load Emplification by the Vimulated Emission of Radiation.

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My Favorite Things

When an Ur guy / sells Nanni things / but the copper's bad, / He simply records his complaint for all time / \"I got a bad deal / I'm maaaaad\"

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Towed Message

\"Hi, what you do is fly over a designated zone and detach the--\" \"WE'RE SORRY, THE MOBILE CUSTOMER YOU ARE TRYING TO REACH IS OUT OF SERVICE\"

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Qualifications

'So how DID you go from working at the employment records office to becoming president of MIT and CEO of IBM?' 'I guess I just have an eye for opportunities.'

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Effect Size

Subgroup analysis is ongoing.

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Relative Terms

Small sewing machines are sewing machines that are smaller than a sewing machine. A sewing machine is larger than a small sewing machine, but quieter than a loud sewing machine.

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Air Handler

It maintains odor levels in a normal familiar range, so if you open the windows and the air gets too fresh, it filters it through some dirty laundry samples to compensate.

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Salt Dome

The US uses hollowed-out salt domes to store the Strategic Petroleum Reserve, and non-hollowed-out ones to store the Strategic Salt Reserve.

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March Madness

My bracket has 76 trombones led by John Philip Sousa facing off against thousands of emperor penguins led by Morgan Freeman.

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Flatten the Planets

We'll turn the asteroid belt into ball bearings to go between different rings orbiting at different speeds.

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Lymphocytes

It's very hard to detect, but recent studies have determined that when plasma B cells are producing antibodies, they go 'pew pew pew'

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Radians Are Cursed

Phil Plait once pointed out that you can calculate the total angular area of the sky this way. If the sky is a sphere with radius 57.3 degrees, then its area is 4*pi*r^2=41,253 square degrees. This makes dimensional analysts SO mad, but you can't argue with results.

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Presents for Biologists

A lot of these are actually non-venomous, but I can see which species you mistook them for. If you pause the crane for a sec I can give you some ID pointers for next time!

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Launch Window

\"Confirmed, we have to scrub.\" \"Ugh, okay. I'll get the bucket and sponge.\"

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Obituary Editor

As the editor has reportedly defeated Death in a series of games of skill, no further obituaries are expected.

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Fanservice

I was eventually kicked out of my architectural engineering program because I wouldn't stop referring to HVAC as \"the fandom.\"

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Hand Dryers

I know hand dryers have their problems, but I think for fun we should keep egging Dyson on and see if we can get them to make one where the airflow breaks the speed of sound.

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Island Storage

I always hate dragging around the larger archipelagos, but I appreciate how the Scandanavian peninsula flexes outward to create a snug pocket for the British Isles.

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Wish Interpretation

\"I wish for everything in the world. All the people, money, trees, etc.\" \"Are you SURE you--\" \"And I want you to put it in my house.\"

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Square Packing

I also managed to improve the solution for n=1 to s<0.97, and with some upgrades I think I can hit 0.96.

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Data Quality

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Omniknot

The Gordian knot is an omniknot tied using every bend in the Ashley Book of Knots, and then for extra security the upper rope at every crossing is connected to the lower with a randomly-chosen hitch.

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Weather Station

'Pour one out for precipitation data integrity,' I say, solemnly upending the glass into the rain gauge.

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Only Serifs

If you ever want to get beaten up by a bunch of graphic designers, try removing the serifs from Times New Roman and adding them to Comic Sans.

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Coordinate Plane Closure

3D graphs that don't contact the plane in the closure area may proceed as scheduled, but be alert for possible collisions with 2D graph lines that reach the hole and unexpectedly enter 3D space.

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Electron Color

There's quark color, but that's not really color--it's just an admission by 20th century physicists that numbers are boring.

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Size Comparisons

If you shrank the Solar System to the size of Texas, the Houston metro area would be smaller than a grasshopper in Dallas.

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Bursa of Fabricius

If an anatomical structure is named for a person, it means they were the only person to have it. Pierre Paul Broca had a special area of his brain that created powerful magnetic fields, enabling him to do 19th century fMRI research.

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K-Means Clustering

According to my especially unsupervised K-means clustering algorithm, there are currently about 8 billion types of people in the world.

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Code Lifespan

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Planet Killer Comet Margarita

I'll take mine on the rocks, no ice.

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