Iceberg Efficiency

Our experimental aerogel iceberg with helium pockets manages true 100% efficiency, barely touching the water, and it can even lift off of the surface and fly to more efficiently pursue fleeing hubristic liners.

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Exoplanet Observation

NASA prefers to say that their rovers are 'looking for signs of past life on Mars' and not 'ghost hunting.'

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Brassica

Sequoia Brussels sprouts are delicious but it's pretty hard to finish one.

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Gold

It can be expensive to hire a professional spectroscopist for your wedding, but the quality of the spectra you get is worth it.

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Autumn and Fall

Of course in reality this is just a US/UK thing; in British English, 'fall' is the brief period in between and 'autumn' is the main season.

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Abstract Pickup

Escape Artist Frees Self From Conversation With Pickup Artist

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Fossil

The two best reasons to get into fossils are booping trilobites and getting to say the word \"fossiliferous\" a lot.

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*@gmail.com

Hi all, just replying to loop in *@outlook.com and *@yahoo.com.

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Path Minimization

Of course you get an ice cream cone for the swimmer too! You're not a monster.

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Inspiration

An apple fell on Isaac Newton's head and gave him the idea that the moon might be a tasty apple, though this turned out not to be true--the Apollo program eventually determined that it was just a desolate and bland Red Delicious.

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Pronunciation

I pronounce the 'u' in 'pronunciation' like in 'putting' but the 'ou' in 'pronounce' like in 'wound'.

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Circuit Symbols

A circle with an A in it means that the circuit has committed a sin and has been marked as punishment.

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Electron Holes

They tried to report me to the authorities, but because I had the device they couldn't charge me.

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Types of Solar Eclipse

The best place to be for a hug eclipse is a scenic natural area with good views and few clouds. The worst place to be is the lunar surface.

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Car Wash

I'm glad modern car washes use synthetic baleen, instead of harvesting it from whales like 1800s car washes did.

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Perseids Pronunciation

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What To Do

FYI: The 'drop, cover, and hold on' advice only applies to earthquakes. If you encounter a mountain lion, you should absolutely not drop to the ground, crawl under it, and hold on to one of its legs.

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Solar Panel Placement

Getting the utility people to run transmission lines to Earth is expensive, but it will pay for itself in no time.

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Free Fallin’

Their crash investigation team had some particularly harsh words for Dave Matthews.

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How to Coil a Cable

The ideal mix for maximum competitive cable-coiling energy is one A/V tech, one rock climber, one sailor, and one topologist.

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Moon

I mean, it's pretty, but it doesn't really affect us beyond that. Except that half the nights aren't really dark, and once or twice a day it makes the oceans flood the coasts.

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Daytime Firefly

Mr. Jones, watch out for Ms. Lenhart! She's from genus Photuris!

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Bad Map Projection: ABS(Longitude)

Positive vibes/longitudes only

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Anti-Vaxxers

The vaccine stuff seems pretty simple. But if you take a closer look at the data, it's still simple, but bigger. And slightly blurry. Might need reading glasses.

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Global Atmospheric Circulation

Refs generally say that you can exercise enough altitude control to avoid the ground, but if you start strategically choosing air layers to steer yourself, that's traveling.

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Marshmallow

The increasing number of graham crackers and chocolate bars in orbit has created a growing risk of Kessler s'mores.

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Geohydrotypography

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Fireflies

I feel bad for Earth 2 and their shadowflies.

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Contact Merge

I actually kind of feel like John and Surf King wouldn't like each other, which is a lot to unpack.

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Down

It's just that I get nervous about heights.

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Frankenstein Claim Permutations

When I began trying to form a new claim by stitching together these parts in such an unnatural way, some called me mad.

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Room Temperature

They're also refusing to fund my device that demonstrates uncontrolled hot fusion.

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Actual Progress

Slowly progressing from 'how do protons behave in relativistic collisions?' to 'what the heck are protons even doing when they're just sitting there?'

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Real Estate Analysis

Mars does get a good score on 'noise levels' and 'scenic views,' but the school district ranking isn't great; the only teacher--the Perseverance rover--is too busy with rock samples to teach more than the occasional weekend class.

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Glass-Topped Table

You can pour a drink into it while hosting a party, although it's a real pain to fit in the dishwasher afterward.

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Alphabet Notes

Listen, you're very cute, but if you rearrange the alphabet to put U and I together it will RUIN the spacing!

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Garden Path Sentence

Arboretum Owner Denied Standing in Garden Path Suit on Grounds Grounds Appealing Appealing

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Summer Solstice

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Bookshelf Sorting

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Heat Pump

If I'm not going to upgrade to a powered one, I should at LEAST stop leaving the door open so often.

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Making Plans

Oh no, I haven't checked in with Yvonne in YEARS.

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Musical Scales

In the Hall of the Mountain King was accidentally composed on log/log paper.

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Iceberg

90% of the iceberg is hidden beneath the water, but that 90% only uses 10% of its brain, so it's really only 9%.

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UFO Evidence

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Marble Run

I have so many plans. It would incorporate a Galton board, a Ranque-Hilsch marble vortex tube, and a compartment lined with pinball bouncers with a camera-and-servo Maxwell's Demon that separated the balls into fast and slow sides.

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Drainage Basins

After a pail of water was thrown on the Wicked Witch of the West outside Salt Lake City, Utah's Great Salt Lake was measured to be 7 parts per trillion witch by volume.

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Ruling Out

We were able to replicate and confirm prior authors' detection of a moon orbiting the Earth with high confidence.

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Wikipedia Article Titles

I would never stoop to vandalism, but I'm not above discreetly deleting the occasional 'this article contains excessive amounts of detail' tag.

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The Six Platonic Solids

Plato made the solids, and five were gifted to the mathematicians. But in secret Plato forged a sixth solid to rule over all the others.

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Physical Quantities

The Hubble length is about 1.9 meters lying down; Edwin Hubble was a tall guy.

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